This is probably a good time to circle back to the question of why?
Why should we share about things that might be better left unsaid.
Why reveal deep dark hidden secrets? Why open up and share about the things that you don't want to share about? Why go out on a limb and be vulnerable? Why expose the darkness?
For contrast here are some of the why nots I've moved through:
- What will they think
- They'll judge you
- You'll put your whole life at risk
- No one will care
- You'll be made fun of
- I have a reputation to uphold
So coming back to the WHY...
Because it's important. Because in the slow process of starting this journey of vulnerability I have been privy to some of the most radical transformations in myself and in others. Because every time I share vulnerably, other people come up and share with me their vulnerability. Their deep darkest secrets that they thought they might take to the grave and when this happens, everytime without fail the relationship is deepened and both sides walk away feeling stronger than they did before.
Because every time I share vulnerably it creates a chain reaction of vulnerable expression. Experiences have ranged from old friends from high school reaching out to me on Facebook to other friends literally flying across the globe to share their most intimate moments with me and everytime it happens I walk away with a feeling of being so ALIVE. More than alive, I can feel something, some power coursing through my veins - it's powerful and it's beautiful and it's available to all of us. Infact, so far it seems that it has only been accessible through connection with others - it's a power that alone we can't experience but together we can offer each other.
We all have something, something deep and dark that we might not want anyone to know and perhaps consider that what sits behind that something is the very thing that we are craving - and the only way to access it is through that blockage.
So the answer to the question WHY...
- Because together, connected we are stronger beyond our wildest dreams
- Because suffering is a choice and we can heal it through connection with each other
- Because a connected humanity full of compassion for self and others is a world on fire with potential
- Because it matters, because you matter
Whether it was your parents buying you a Daewoo instead of a BMW or an attempt at suicide or a teacher marginalizing you at a young age or the loss of a family member... whatever causes your suffering is real - and healing it may all start with compassion for yourself. From that place of compassion perhaps we can go out and share with others and hold space for them to stand strong with us.
I recently stumbled upon this quote from Ella Luna, I feel like it offers a nice vision for the future:
“Have you ever been to northern California and stood at the base of a redwood tree? If you have, you know first hand its majesty, its size, the trunk that you and even two or three friends cannot wrap your arms around. These trees reach unfathomable heights, strong and beautiful, lifting skyward. But what you cannot see when you stand at the foot of this tree is what is happening underneath. While a redwood tree can grow 360 feet tall, the roots are only, on average, about ten feet deep. This is because they spread their roots outward, searching for other redwood trees. Their roots intertwine under the ground, and they hold each other up. A redwood tree cannot stand on it’s own, and neither can we. ”
Imagine a connected humanity... what are the possibilities!? Would love to know your thoughts.