Male deaths represent 79% of all US suicides. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for all ages. That's a lot of unnecessary deaths. (Save.org) Come on bro-dudes, we gotta help each other out.
I don't know about any of the dudes out there but from a young age anytime I felt sad, emotional or anything besides happy, my emotional development consisted of:
"Be a man, stop crying"
"Don't be a girl, man up"
"Stop being such a pussy"
"Stop. Men don't cry"
"That's borderline..."
Don't get me wrong, my parents were supportive and they were there for me when I was down and out. I'm talking about how dudes support each other, the way we speak to one another. And for the record I'm very guilty of being bad in this category. Get me in a room with some of my friends I grew up with and it's nothing but banter. In fact some of the things I call my closest friends I probably wouldn't even say to a mujahideen warrior trying to commit jihad on someone - it's really that bad.
And I get a real kick out of it too, that's the unfortunate part - it's hilarious. I suppose that's why we do it.
But I'm not here to glamourize the bullshit. I am here to bring light to it and pose the question; how do we bring balance to it? How can we create space so that bro-dudes can be there for other bro-dudes?
Why would we want to do this? Why share emotionally with some of your closest guy friends?
I recently looked up the definition of "Emotion" and found that the latin origin for this word literally translates "to move" check it out:
And what emotion moves us the most? Crying! I mean they all move us, but when I cry I literally have a physical particle that moves out of my body and runs down my face. It can be such a release. In the last couple of years I have had some cry's that I wish I could bottle up and give to a friend as a gift. It felt soo good!
For what is it to be alive but to feel good? Isn't that what we're all seeking, feeling good, being happy? So why not experiment with it a bit? The next time the homies and I are sitting around throwing back stacks of steaks and pounding back some liquids maybe I'll try sharing openly - have you tried?
Also, in my personal experience I've noticed that when sharing emotionally with another person it forces you to be present and creates a unique connection that feels really good. And as we all know presence and connection are where the magic happens.
As a man, how do you connect with other guys? Do you bother, is it worthwhile? Would love to hear what it's like out there for you...